Wednesday, January 25, 2012

When Pastors Aren't Able to Pastor

The church is medium-sized in attendance, yet, on paper the membership roll is even larger. Its solo pastor is a frustrated man. There are some good days, and certainly some fine people who encourage him, but he’s frustrated because the job God called him to do just cannot be done. He has many people to tend to, numbers of which are missing, and even those who are present are more than any average man could possibly care for—that is, really care for.

So, this good-hearted, spiritually-minded pastor lapses into frustration over his inability to do much more than put out fires. And there are plenty of those.
He tries to project the view that he is a true shepherd of all the people. He speaks in warm terms to those attending on Sundays, and to all of the people through the church’s regular publications. The website shows him as if he were the best friend and confidant of all the members, constantly attending to their spiritual growth, mentoring, guiding, and comforting. But the blurb under his photo is only a wish and not a reality. He actually is only able to pastor an inner core on that level—perhaps twenty to thirty, at most. He sometimes thinks that his loving words are no different than those of the TV preacher who looks into the camera and acts as if he is directly speaking to the listener as his dearest friend. He has become a pastor who is not able to pastor.
Across town is the fastest growing church. They are driven by entertainment, appealing music, and a large staff. Sometimes his members visit there, just out of curiosity or perhaps out of the need to have a little relief from the sedate experience they are used to. When a special event comes to the mega-church, perhaps several of his members attend, including his own children. It often adds to his frustration, though he would not say much about it.
The pastor of the mega-church expresses his love for the people also. In fact, he may be better at saying it than the pastor of the smaller church. His website portrays him in several photos and videos as a caring, magnanimous friend of the people, who all smile and love him.
Yet, if the truth were known, the fast-growing church has more of a pastor/people gap than the smaller church. And in that church even a higher percentage of the people do not attend. It is not necessarily because the large church pastor is any more or less interested in shepherding people. He can hardly be blamed for the fact that people love to hear him speak and that his staff is able to carry out programs that attract. Yet, behind the scenes, the larger church pastor is often frustrated as well. As he reads the Bible, he sees that there is much he is not doing that God requires of him. He gets accolades from the people, more than the first pastor, but before God he often feels he’s a failure—and that the size of his church only amplifies his failings.
What can be done?
Perhaps the problem here is not in the pastors themselves, but in the structure of the churches. They are designed for pastoral separation from the people, and all the more so as they grow. The solutions would have much to do with multiplying pastors, decentralizing, and dividing the church into pastoral units, not in a corporate business way, but into true manageable cells led by qualified men. The early church did this naturally, by multiplying house churches. But that solution may never come, if it is even envisioned by these men and their churches. Suppose the macro-solution then is not possible. What else could be done? Especially, what could be done by you, the person who needs a pastor for your own spiritual well-being and growth?
Here are some ways you can help overcome the pastor/member gap:
1.       Work harder at knowing your pastor. If he is not able, due to time, to pour his life into you in a personal way, don’t just give up and remain distant. Men, invite him to your home, take him out to lunch, become his encourager. He will, in turn, carry on a certain level of mentorship just because it is in his spiritual genes to do so. Women, this first point will not work as well for you for obvious reasons if you are single or your husband does not attend, yet remaining as appropriately friendly as possible is always an improvement.
2.       Build relationships with others who have potential to increase your faith and improve your walk with God. Perhaps there is a man and his wife in the church who would be on the pastoral team if such a team existed. Seek to draw out spiritual help and understanding of Scripture from them, and reciprocate by encouraging them and serving them in practical ways.
3.       Take on a discipleship role yourself. Look around to see who could be helped by your ministry to them. Approach them on a friendship level. Then after getting together, depending on how well you work with each other, figure out a way to be together regularly for Bible study and prayer, even if all you can do is read the Bible, comment and pray.
4.       Take on some of the difficult people of the church and seek to meet their needs. In churches, it is often the case that just one person demands almost all the pastor’s time that is available. And when he is not around, the pastor’s wife may have the privilege. Share that load with your pastor. Talk with him to see if he has suggestions as to how you can free him by helping out.
5.       Finally, offer your services to your pastor personally. Both men and women may be helpful in appropriate ways. Ask him how you may serve him in extending his care for others. It might mean making hospital visits, checking on widows, phoning members, or making contact with guests who’ve come to visit the church.
If only a few church members live out some or all of the above suggestions—perhaps if even one does it—significant improvement will be made in the church you love.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Qualifications and Duties of an Elder

The following is a list of the biblical qualifications that an elder must possess. No elder will be a perfect man, but if he is clearly and persistently lacking in any of these qualities, he cannot serve in the church as an elder. An elder must be:

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Seven Ways to Get Smart About Kids' Toys this Christmas


If you have plastic up to your gills, or if you want to be more frugal about gifts, or even if you enjoy using what God has given you in a redeeming way, you may appreciate these ideas this Christmas: 

1. Gather up as many bags of used toys as possible to put into circulation. Relatives or a church friend might need some of your toys for their younger children. Local organizations like foster care associations, rescue missions, or pregnancy resource centers are often receiving slightly used toys to give away to needy children. Perhaps you can do this: Let each child select and keep one box of toys and one additional “big item,” like a doll-house or an indoor plastic basketball goal, then give the rest away. Kids can get used to doing this right after or right before Thanksgiving each year. It could become part of the Christmas experience.  

2. Teach your kids that used items are just as fun as new items. There really is little use in having to buy new items for children when you could provide them with better toys for less money by shopping at thrift stores and garage sales, or by swapping out with other parents. Kids really don’t mind this. The only thing that can spoil this is creating lust in children by exposing them to too many advertisements. The toy manufacturers know just how to appeal to kids.   

3. How about doing some internal recycling sometime around Christmas? Try grouping the kids’ toys into boxes and storing them. Each month (or whenever you think appropriate), rotate in a new box of old toys and temporarily retire the ones the kids have just been using. You will only need about three or four boxes for this. This will make old toys more interesting and appreciated. Perhaps you could ask the kids to select a boxful of toys for now, before Christmas, then, after they have played with their new Christmas toys awhile, do a good job of separating all their toys for the rest of the year. The kids could help you sort them.  

4. Parents could have a gathering with other parents in the church for a toy exchange. Each family could bring a box full of toys (or more), and swap toys for a whole “new” set that could then be wrapped and given to their children. Bring toys that are nice enough to pass on.  

5. Instead of having “gift exchanges” where each child brings a brand new gift to give to another boy or girl (who may not like it), have a “new to you” gift exchange where each child brings a used toy (or even more!) to give away.   

6. Have a “Christmas garage sale.” Involve the kids in the whole process, from cleaning the toys to setting up. It may be more enjoyable to move the sale out on your driveway. If it’s cold, be sure to have hot chocolate ready for the customers. The toys (and hot chocolate) could be free, or the kids could charge reasonable prices (cheap) for everything and use the money they make to buy gifts for others in the family. Or, the kids may be encouraged to give the money they make to help children somewhere in the world who have much less. You may enjoy doing this Christmas garage sale with other families in your church and/or neighborhood. This may be a strategic way to meet or reconnect with neighbors.  

7. Along with collecting food items to give to a needy family in your church or community, also include age-appropriate toys. Let your children pick out several from their own collection that they think will be especially enjoyed.  

Ultimately we want to promote and provide a context for the exercise of the selflessness which can only be found in people who know Christ. Some kids especially need work in this area because of years of over-stimulation and childlike self-centeredness. In many countries of the world, children have only a couple of toys (maybe handmade). Though we should enjoy what we have, doing as much as possible to make kids grateful is a really important parental task. It is one that is not easy and demands prayer and careful planning, over time.   

If our children are truly followers of Christ, they will enjoy the encouragements to think in God-honoring ways about their toys. If they are not, these ideas will provide many opportunities to preach the gospel to them. For example, as we teach them about giving up their toys for the temporary joy of others, we will be able to speak about the Christ who gave His life for the eternal joy of His people. And God may even use the sinful struggles your children have with some of the ideas above to convict them of their sin and their need of the Savior. These seven ideas will matter most if parents connect them to the gospel.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Soils Booklet

New Item for Evangelism!

The SoilsThis is a strikingly beautiful, colorful, 12 page booklet (4"x6") displaying Jesus' parable of the soils from Matthew 13. We used thick cover stock throughout for a quality feel. It ends with a simple challenge that will help the reader to discover how he listens to Christ's word.

We will sell this booklet only in 10 packs and 100 packs, 10 pack for just $6.00 (includes shipping) or 100 booklets for just $50 (includes shipping). We believe this tract has many uses. How about enclosing them in your Christmas cards?

See the entire booklet here: The Soils

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Our Plan for Handling Church Finances

by Christ Fellowship Elders

The elders of Christ Fellowship spent several weeks studying the subject of church finances. Our desire was to honor God by following the leadership of the Head of the Church, Jesus Christ. We focused on numerous passages of Scripture in an attempt to properly understand more of what the Bible teaches on this subject. While we did not conclude that we had been disobedient to God in the way we had handled church finances previously, our study did provide us with a better understanding of what the Scriptures say about this important topic. As a result, we implemented a few strategic changes in our church regarding the overall handling of money. We want to share these with you.
 
First, the pastors recognized that there are four primary areas where all believers are responsible when it comes to giving:
 
 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Knowing You're In

by Jim Elliff

There was a troubled look on the student's face as I finished my talk. "I believe that Christ is who He says He is," he stated, "but I just don't know if I am really a Christian. What if I'm deceiving myself?"
The question is a reasonable. After all, God put up a huge billboard in 1 Corinthians 6:9 that says, "DO NOT BE DECEIVED!"

So, how do you know you're a Christian?

First be sure that you understand the basics. Do you believe that Jesus is God? Do you believe that He came to the earth to deliver sinful people from the consequences and power of their sin? Do you believe that Christ lived a perfect life and then died on the cross to pay the penalty that you deserved to pay before a holy God?

Do you believe that He was raised from the dead and has overcome the power of sin and death? And have you, to the best of your knowledge, placed your entire trust in Christ alone as your only way of salvation? Have you rejected the selfish life you have now come to despise? Then you have the basics and may well be a true believer.

In addition to all this, God says that He has given you His Holy Spirit to help you know for sure that you are in the family and truly forgiven. He says, "By this we know that we abide in Him, because He has given us of His Spirit." 1 John 3:13

God says in Ephesians 1:13-14 that the Holy Spirit is a "deposit guaranteeing the future inheritance." Like the down-payment on a car or house or college education, the Holy Spirit in you is a pledge that the future with Him will be there as He promised. And this deposit of the Spirit is placed in you by the One who cannot lie.
The Holy Spirit helps you know you're an authentic Christian in two ways. First, the Bible says that He produces "fruit" in us.

It's a preposterous idea, but just imagine Michael Jordan (the pre-comeback Jordan) inside your skin when you shoot hoops. You look like you've always looked on the outside, but something is coming out of you that nobody has seen there before.

When Christ enters the life through the Holy Spirit, He makes you noticeably different. This word "fruit" is just a way of saying that Christ in you is now working through your own personality in some unique and powerful ways.

When I lived in Orlando, I grew some orange trees in my back yard. They were pitiful and the fruit was, well…not so appetizing. But I could tell I had an orange tree and not a pecan tree. A tree is known by its fruit; even if it is not perfect fruit.

In Galatians 5: 22-23, the Bible describes the fruit of the Holy Spirit as "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Notice that the first fruit is love. Though you cannot see it clearly in our English translations, the passage actually implies that the entire cluster of fruit is about love in its many forms. A true Christian loves others, and shows that love by his acts of kindness, goodness, patience, and respect toward them. It is a giving and forgiving kind of love—even toward parents, teachers, athletic opponents, and enemies.

Love is no small matter. Actually, it is the most often repeated indicator that a person is a true Christian. For instance, in 1 John 4: 7-8 the Bible says, "Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Do you have this God-given love for others? If so, you have reason to believe that you are a true Christian. But if there is no fruit of love, then you have good reason to believe that you are not yet a true child of God. The fruit tells the truth.

But there is a second way that the Holy Spirit helps us know we are in. In Romans 8: 15 we read that the Spirit causes us to "cry out, 'Abba, Father.'" The word, "Abba" is like "daddy." This means that the Spirit inside of true Christians is the One that causes us to want to be with God, to know Him well, and to talk to Him as our Father.

In John 3:19-20, Jesus said that non-believers actually run from the Light. But when the Spirit comes you have new desires. You want to know God and to communicate with Him like you do with someone you really care about.

If you have this desire to love God, you ought to be encouraged that you are in the family. But if you can remain apathetic over a long period of time, you have good reason to question if you are a true Christian.

Apathy, in fact, is just the quiet form of rebellion.

It is not unusual for you to have doubts from time to time, especially when you are weak in your faith. But when you have those doubts you should be serious about finding out the truth. Too much is at stake.
As a friend of mine said, "Doubts never send anyone to hell, but deception always does."

Monday, October 10, 2011

Hearing Aids for Believers

by Jim Elliff

Let's face it-sometimes it is hard to get much out of the sermon or teaching you receive in your church. While some of the blame often lies at the feet of the presenter, it is still the obligation of the listener to scratch for something nourishing for the soul.

Here are some hearing aids:

1. Sleep more. Not during the meeting, of course, but the night before. This takes some planning. It is especially difficult with youth, who use Saturday night as an opportunity to stay up as late as possible.

2. Take notes. Buy a small notebook with a sturdy back, and don't forget to bring a pen or pencil. Your notes may be imperfect, but they do help a sluggish mind. Don't let your note taking make the session purely academic. Sermons are to be "experienced." I like to put the subject in a circle in the middle of the page and draw lines out from the circle to other points, etc. But everyone has their own style.

3. Bring your Bible. It is difficult to follow the preacher's line of thought when you don't have the whole text of his message, including the surrounding context, in front of you. Pew Bibles are sometimes useful, but using your own Bible means that you can underline as you need to, and write notes in the margin.

4. Sit closer. Almost without exception, the best listeners are in the front. There are some valid reasons to be in the back, needless to say, but it is usually true that sitting in the back impedes our listening.

5. Minimize distractions. If you are sitting where there is a lot of movement around you, find a better place. If your kids are noisy and seek your attention, then "divide and conquer" by asking a relative or friend to sit with you. Prepare a way for the little ones to "draw" what they are learning from the sermon. And make sure they go to the bathroom prior to the meeting. Nothing breaks concentration, for listeners as well as the preacher, like the Sunday shuffle to the restroom.

6. Ask questions. In a typical session, this will likely have to be done following the meeting. For instance, you might ask: "Pastor, I did not understand what you meant by the phrase 'sanctification is by faith.' Would you please explain that again to me?"

7. Discuss the problem. Express to a pastor or leader that you are having trouble listening and would like to improve. Ask for suggestions. Perhaps this will cause the leader to be alert to your need and to improve communication, or you might discover some better way to connect to his style of speaking.

Some people sleep each and every time the Word is preached. The preacher opens his Bible; the member closes his eyes—every time! Others don't sleep, but they have nomadic minds and never concentrate. Years of this will leave you spiritually destitute. There has never been a truly spiritual person who could not somehow lock his or her mind on the truth.

Jesus said, "Therefore take heed how you hear. For whoever has, to him more will be given; and whoever does not have, even what he seems to have will be taken from him" (Luke 8:18).

In other words, if you do not "take heed how you listen" even what you seem to have in terms of understanding will be taken away from you, revealing that you never truly understood or knew God at all.

One person hears all he can and, though it might not be all he would like, it still makes him stronger. The other person sleeps or mentally escapes and experiences spiritual atrophy or even eternal loss.

Nobody likes to be told, "Get a hearing aid." But I say, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!" (Mt. 13:9).

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Training Men


[Below is an article written by the elders of Christ Fellowship on how we seek to develop men in our church. Our church is made up of several home congregations, each led by an elder. This provides a structure to mentor men that is natural and effective. In fact, it is our commitment to mentor every man in the church! If your church is not set up this way, you may find other ways to subdivide the church in order to train men. We hope you get some ideas from this article.]
 
The elders of Christ Fellowship believe that a relational approach to training men is superior to an institutional or programmatic method. We are committed to this concept because we see it so clearly demonstrated in our Master's training of His disciples and in the Apostle Paul's strategy with Timothy, Titus and a number of other men he led. For instance, Jesus chose men He wanted to be His disciples "so that they would be with Him, and that He could send them out to preach" (Mark 3:14). In this case, "preach" means to evangelize or herald the good news. The combination of "being with Christ" and having opportunity to evangelize under his supervision provided the perfect environment for spiritual growth. Therefore, at the heart of all that we do for Christian maturity and leadership development, we intend to promote loving and purposeful mentoring relationships between the men of the church and their elders. Every man who is a member will be involved on this level with his pastor.
 
The elders will help every man under their care to grow in six significant areas: character, knowledge, skills, enthusiasm, faith, and affection. Although there are other ways of analyzing development, these six items provide an excellent evaluative guide concerning key biblical qualities integral to Christian growth that will move men toward better leadership in the home, community and church.
 
If a man is strong in knowledge, yet weak in skills, his knowledge may never make much difference for the kingdom of God. Or, if a man has exceptional skills, yet lacks character, his efforts will consistently be undermined by his lifestyle. Or, if he has character without enthusiasm for carrying out God's will, he may be severely stunted in his ability to stimulate his family and friends to follow after Christ. Therefore, the elders will seek to develop these six areas of maturity concurrently and evenly in each man, with the intent of maximizing his effectiveness at every level of growth.
 
Emulating the method of Christ, the elders of Christ Fellowship are also committed to promoting experience as a teacher and trainer of men. Jesus "sent them out to preach." In other words, we want to foster the best environment possible for a man to exercise his gifts and leadership. When a man tries and fails, he will ask questions that are pertinent. He will desire good answers. He will listen, learn and apply.
 
With these two concepts in mind (relational mentoring and opportunity for experience), how does Christian growth and leadership development for men work out practically in our context?
 
First, the home congregation meeting itself is a seedbed for spiritual growth and improvement of leadership. For instance, the open session portion of our weekly meeting gives opportunity for men to speak out about Christ, the Scriptures and their life with God. Also, the willingness of our men to guide us in the Lord's Supper each week provides opportunity to grow in the formulation and expression of biblical messages. Some men will even be given opportunity to expound the Scriptures as the main teaching of the home congregation meeting. It goes without saying that the relaxed sharing of ideas and discussion of the Bible truths naturally taking place around the table during our meal time is perfect for spiritual growth in a variety of ways. Mature believers often find themselves instructing younger believers as an extension of these meetings.
 
Second, each elder will spend time with his men as a small group (or one on one as necessary) in a weekly mentoring time. Usually these meetings take place early in the morning before work. Most of the time, a book of the Bible is studied, or a theological book read, with the underlying purpose of training and maturing the men. In these meetings problem issues may be shared, challenges given, prayers offered, and questions discussed in such a way that life change is taking place. Because the elders are intent upon knowing each of their men well, and are motivated to bring them to spiritual maturity and into the use of their spiritual gifts, these meetings take on a personal tone saturated with pastoral care. The pastors and men who enjoy this close relationship will be together in other informal ways as a natural outgrowth of such commitment to each other. We believe it is essential for each man to be part of such a relationship with other men and his elder.
 
Additional gatherings of men are provided in order to train, encourage and instruct. For instance, a men's Bible study takes place weekly in six to eight week blocks throughout the year. This is for all the men of the various congregations. The "open home-open heart" hospitality of the church affords men further learning experiences. A yearly retreat, trips to conferences, work outings for the members, and other special gatherings promote growth as well.
 
Eldership and other vocational opportunities
 
Through mentoring relationships, the elders come to know their flock well. They become familiar with the inner life, struggles, interests, qualifications, weaknesses, and desires of each man. When the need arises and certain men known to the elders are ready, qualified, and motivated to serve as fellow pastors, the elders will seek to prepare them in whatever way is necessary. Some men may also be ready for service as deacons, missionaries, or evangelistic laborers. The men are encouraged to talk about their desires with their elders. The elders themselves are seeking to know God's will about potential leaders as a regular part of their work for the church. Not every man is ready immediately to lead just because he senses the desire. The church has a plan for choosing and installing elders (and deacons) outlined in other documents.
 
Sometimes men from either within or outside of our church will be asked if they are willing to be considered as potential elders. These men will already have pastoral skills, spiritual gifts, and maturity that the elder team considers beneficial for our church. Careful evaluation of the six characteristics of mature leaders and a comprehensive look at the biblical qualifications will be part of the process for discovering God's will for these men. The elders will spend extra time with them to help them understand the church and its characteristics. When ready, these men will assume the role of a designated leader of a home congregation. After some time of leading in this way, they will be ready for our process for approving and installing elders. This process will serve as a final check on determining the Lord's will for the church and for them. If approved, they will take on the full pastoral responsibility that was originally intended for them.
 
Internship
 
On occasion, some men from outside our church may move to our area for the purpose of internship with our elders. These men come at their own expense to be part of the life of the church. Their involvement with us does not guarantee that they will be invited to be leaders in our church after the internship is over. Other interns will arise from within our church. Internship is limited to men who are hopeful of future pastoral or missionary service, regardless of where they may eventually labor.
 
Our plan for interns will be the same as for all the men, mentoring by the elders and opportunity to exercise gifts and graces God has given. In addition to these, the interns will be asked to interact with the elders in three ways: 1. They will be asked to interview elders individually about certain pastoral issues. 2. They will be invited to meetings to discuss pastoral issues with the elder team. 3. They will at times be asked to join in the elders' weekly meetings in order to get a feel for the kind of ministry we do. They will also be asked to participate in what we call "synagogue evangelism," that is, getting involved with religious groups in our community that do not have a clear understanding of the gospel. The elders may guide them into various disciplines, experiences, and ministries as needed to prepare them for their future.
 
Conclusion
 
The elders will discuss the strengths, weaknesses and possible plans of action for each man as a regular agenda item in their meetings in order to remain focused on the objective of building godly men and capable spiritual leaders. They will also seek to observe their own weaknesses and strengths in order to mature and grow in leadership.
 
To summarize, we intend to know the men well, to address their needs, aspirations and growth issues as an extension of authentic pastoral relationships, and to provide numerous opportunities for each man to grow by using his gifts and abilities both inside and outside our church.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Back to School for the Glory of God

by Steve Burchett

When I was in school, summer vacation always went too fast. Somehow three months off felt like only three weeks, and suddenly I found myself standing in the school supplies aisle at Wal-Mart anticipating the beginning of another year.

As I reflect back on my schooling, I have many good memories of friendships, ballgames, and, yes, learning, but it could have been better. I became a follower of Christ when I was a freshman in high school, which did affect the kind of student (and athlete) I was, but if I could go back, I would be more intentional about glorifying God.

Consider three ways high school and college students can honor God in school. If you are homeschooling, pay special attention to the first section:

Don’t cheat.

Cheating comes in a variety of forms, such as copying another student’s work, or not giving proper credit in a paper or project (plagiarism). I had many classes in college that used an “honor system” concerning expected reading. The professor would assign a certain amount of pages, and we were required to turn in a sheet that explained if we did the reading. If we did not, we put the percentage that we did actually cover. This system could easily be abused.

What’s wrong with cheating? If you do, and it becomes known, your testimony for the Lord will suffer greatly. It will say to your teacher and fellow students, “The gospel that he preaches doesn’t make any difference. He’s just like the rest of us.”

Even if your cheating is known only to God, you are putting yourself in a dangerous position. In 1 Corinthians 6:9, Paul says, “The unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Students who are characterized by ungodliness are not Christians (even if they profess to be) and are drifting toward hell (cf. Revelation 21:8).

See each class as an opportunity to talk about the gospel.

God has purposes for placing us in our various classes—even the boring ones! One of those reasons is certainly to bring a Christian worldview into the class. If there is opportunity for discussion, share your Scripture-informed thoughts. This doesn’t always mean you must quote verses, but speak the truth.

Consider Paul’s approach in Acts 17:17-18 as a model:

So he was reasoning in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and in the market place every day with those who happened to be present. And also some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers were conversing with him.

Those in the synagogues and the market place had their own ideas about God and life, and Paul was compelled to enter into the discussion for the purpose of proclaiming Christ.

You may ask, “What if I don’t say things correctly.” You won’t always speak eloquently or with the theological precision you would prefer, but God is for you, and He may use even a single statement of yours to change somebody’s life. Even if the class has little or no discussion, engage people before and after for their eternal good.

Carry a Bible for free time.

The psalmist says, “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11). The Bible is of great value to the Christian. It is a light to his path (v. 105). Students benefit significantly by reading and thinking about it during down time. I have worked as a substitute teacher in six different public high schools, and I am certain about at least this: Students have lots of free time each day! Why not utilize it for good by reading the Bible?

Monday, August 1, 2011

When Nobody Misses You

by Jim Elliff


Below is the obituary of 79 year old Dolores Aguilar, recorded in the Vallejo, California Times-Herald (August 16-17, 2008), submitted by one of her daughters:

Dolores Aguilar 1929 - Aug. 7, 2008-08-22

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby. She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing. Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself.

As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again. There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.1

At various times in my life I have conducted funeral services attended by only a handful of family members. Although sometimes small attendance at funerals represents the fact that the deceased had outlived his or her family and friends, or that the closest friends lived far away, Dolores Aguilar was not in that category. She simply was not loved.

Will you be missed after you die?

Robert Murray McCheyene, pastor in Dundee, Scotland, and historic revival leader, was only 29 when he died. He used to say, "Live so as to be missed."2 His biographer said, "None that saw the tears that were shed over his death have doubted that his own life had been what he recommended to others."

In the rural south, during the 50s when farmers served each other and community was all important, my grandmother Mollie Carter passed away. She was the Christian mother of 14 children. My own mother, her youngest daughter, told of the nearly thousand people attending her funeral. Even the blacksmith, with his long (usually snuff covered) beard was there, dressed in clean overalls, and a washed beard! Why did they come? "My mother was the kindest woman they knew. She was generous with all she had, and never said an ill word about anyone," reported my mother in her own words.

She lived so as to be missed.

Will you be missed when you die?

With Christ, an ugly life can be turned into a beautiful one. He can take the meanest of us and make us loving, kind and generous. He specialized in impossible, cantankerous people.

He can even change you.

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1. This obituary was validated as authentic by www.Snopes.com.

2. Robert Murray M'Cheyne, Andrew Alexander Bonar, The Life and Remains of Robert Murray McCheyne (Robert Carter & Brothers, 1849), 147.

Copyright © 2008 Jim Elliff. Permission granted for reproduction in exact form. All other uses require written permission. Find more free articles at www.BulletinInserts.org, a ministry of Christian Communicators Worldwide: www.CCWtoday.org